Penthouse at the Asylum

My Crazy Little World

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Not Me
You know the cartoon "Family Circle"? Do you remember the ghost named "Not Me" that lived with the family occassionally? Well, I'm pretty sure Not Me has left that house for a new one. Mine.

My daughter (she's 8.5) is at this stage where she cannot take responsibility for anything. It drives me absolutely bat.shit.crazy.

Exhibit A: The other day she's eating cereal on the couch (I know...I'm partially to blame here) and drops the entire bowl. She says NOTHING. When I come out of my room a few minutes later, I see her getting ready for school and then I see the couch. The milk soaked, cereal covered couch. I call her into the room and ask her what happened, "I don't know Mom, it wasn't me."

Exhibit B: I'm on the couch watching a show, she's in the shower. I hear the shower turn off and a few minutes later I hear a thud. She comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later and says, "I don't know how it happened, I didn't do anything, but a bunch of your stuff just fell right out of the medicine cabinet and onto the floor! But I didn't do anything, it just FELL!" Awesome, I either have suicidal makeup and haircare products, or a ghost. Or, wait, maybe I have an 8 year old daughter that was reaching for something of hers in the cabinet and instead of moving things around so she could get to it, she just grabbed it and pulled. That's the story I'm going with.

Exhibit C: Her bedroom. It is a disaster at all times. She cleans it about twice a week, it's shiny and new for about an hour and then it looks like her dresser and closet threw up in it. When I tell her how frustrating it is for me to see her room like that and all the things I buy for her just strewn about I get this, "But, Mom, it's not me. I didn't make it messy. It's my rooms fault." SERIOUSLY!?

I talk to my parents about this and they think it's hysterical. I don't find the humor in it at all. It pisses me the hell off. I'm sure it's a stage and she'll just grow out of it. Right? RIGHT?!


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